When I was in the fifth or sixth grade, I was obsessed with the song Misery by Soul Asylum. o b s e s s e d. Why the hell as an innocent eleven year old did I like this song so much? Seriously, what the fuck did I have to be frustrated about? It's absolutely hilarious in retrospect - only because I know exactly what my room was decorated like when I was belting out tunes while sitting at my desk playing with my sticker book. I looooooved that sticker book.
Now, I was thinking to myself today how frustrating my life is, how much anger I carry around, and why the hell it has to be this way. Dear reader, you may be thinking, "It doesn't have to be this way Katie, you are in control." And I would reply, "Yes reader, you are correct." However, there is a great separation between intellect and emotions. At least I know this, some people walk around acting on their emotions and forget that their brain has more than one function. (The inner workings of the brain are truly amazing, by the way, but that is another post entirely.) Anyway, I just have a hard time trying to convice myself that I am doing the right thing because it just feels so empty emotionally. Things that feel emotionally satisfying may be perceived as the "wrong" thing, even though they are perfectly o.k.
I hate that I am constantly being judged. I think people around here think I am some kind of idiot. Like they are smarter than me because they are interested in different things. Note: this only makes them different, definitely not smarter. People think they can get away with a lot because we have cell phones and the internet. And the truth is - they can. Of course, it's still wrong, any way you slice it, maybe they'll catch on eventually, maybe they'll get a clue.
The problem with posting "they" or "you" is that when people read this, they may think it's about them, but they are probably wrong. Just think about the sticker book.
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