be cool, man.

so it's about 4:30 and i can't fall asleep. i had a great time out with friends tonight, which is positive, but i fucked up with ccpbt because i didn't call when i should have. i guess that's kind of silly. i have to remember i'm only human and i make mistakes.

in that realm, that's something i have been meaning to blog about. i talk a lot to patricia about how hard i am on myself. basically, i don't treat myself as a human, i expect more from myself than i do from other people, and i am infinitely unforgiving to myself when i make mistakes. but the truth is that i make mistakes, and i am only human. like i tell my kids, everyone has accidents, everyone makes mistakes, be cool man. sometimes when we are in situations where there is a lot of tension or stress, we are more inclined to get angry about the little things. however, in the long run, those little things don't matter at all.

so i guess the moral of the story is that i have to learn to forgive myself. when i do something dumb, i should just brush it off, i shouldn't feel like i need to slam my fingers in a drawer...know what i mean?

in other news, i love hanging with jack. it's a nice break from my current life and it instantly brings me back to fun times that took place aboiut 5 years ago, it's fantastic. it reminds me of this because it's part of my present and my past:

How do I get back there to
The place where I fell asleep inside you
How do I get myself back to
The place where you said
I want something else to get me through this
Semi-charmed kind of life