Dancing Nancies...

meredith is crazy. i love her, but she's crazy. she's a hippie, "retired scenester" (as she calls it), vegan, preschool teacher and garderner extraordinaire. she's also my co-teacher.

in our class, we have 2 hermit crabs, named harry and sally (yes, the kids picked these names, knowing nothing about american pop-culture, cute, i know). in fact, my favorite joke to play on meredith is to call her and tell her that one of the hermit crabs has died. she cries, and i have to tell her i'm kidding.

recently, we acquired 25 tadpoles. meredith loves them more than the children i think. so i was not surprised when last night at midnight, she called me from the cats cradle to ask me to drop off my key so she could feed the tadpoles. it was 12:40am when i got there. crazy.

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now in addition to her present hippie situation, meredith is also a roadie for Ted Leo and the Pharmacists. she's a groupie to many other bands, but she actually tours with these boys.

this fun fact got me thinking...i wish i could really switch places with someone for a week. would i like it? if i gave being a vegan a chance from inside meredith's body, would i like it? i know, there's a movie called freaky friday which explores this concept...but that's hollywood. i'm talking about real life here. maybe i should try to be someone else for a week and see what happens.

i feel like i need a new perspective on life. maybe it will help me accept people for who they are and stop hating so much. it's eating me up. i realize that people don't like me either. people who were friends aren't anymore. and it all just sucks. so maybe being someone else will open my heart.

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Could I have been
A parking lot attendant
Could I have been
A millionaire in Bel Air
Could I have been Lost somewhere in Paris
Could I have been
Your little brother
Could I have been
Anyone other than me
Could I have been
Anyone other than me
Could I have been
Anyone other than me
Could I have been
Anyone

He stands touch his hair his shoes untied
Tongue gaping stare
Could I have been a magnet for money?
Could I have been anyone other than me?

Twenty three and so tired of life
Such a shame to throw it all away
The images grow darker still
Could I have been anyone other than me? Then I

Look up at the sky
My mouth is open wide, lick and taste
What's the use in worrying, what's the use in hurrying
Turn, turn we almost become dizzy

I am who I am who I am who am I
Requesting some enlightenment
Could I have been anyone other than me?

Sing and dance I'll play for you tonight
And thrill at it all
Dark clouds may hang on me sometimes
But I'll work it out then I

Look up at the sky
My mouth is open wide, lick and taste
What's the use in worrying, what's the use in hurrying
Turn, turn we almost become dizzy

Falling out of a world of lies
Could I have been dancing nancy
Could I have been anyone other than me?

WHOA MARCH, HELLO APRIL! and medicine

yikes! i have so many things to do in the coming few weeks, it's crazy! i am going to publicize them right now:

Mar 31
Net's Bridal Shower
Eitan Lee's Bar Mitzvah

Apr 2
Yellow Belt Graduation

April 8
Go to NY for Easter

April 13
Net's Rehearsal

April 14
Net's Wedding

April 22
Z's Bday

so a lot of it is based around Nanette, but i am super excited about the wedding, so it's o.k. i still have to work out what to do for z's birthday, i need to get my wheels working...with this schedule, it looks like april 22nd might just sneak up on me!

in other news, my cousin got engaged this weekend, which is great! she is getting her master's in library science right now, so her fiance proposed at the library of congress in DC...cute, right?

i want to comment for a minute about House. now, i suppose this goes for all of the medical shows...but how do they continually come up with these weird new illnesses. i mean, aren't there a semi-finite number of "bizarre" illnesses that a person could get? for example, i have seen several House episodes where people hallucinate, due to different illnesses...but they always use similar graphics and depictions to show the hallucination. i have seen several episodes where people here voices for one reason or another - but yet, the illnesses are only slightly different in the end.

i was a biology major, i am well aware of the range of illnesses that a person could endure, however, they are not as exciting as House makes them seem...guess that's why it is a good TV show, and i guess that's why i got sucked into watching the marathon yesterday on USA. plus i also have a girl crush on "Cameron" played by Jennifer Morrison. it's similar to the crush i have on CSI Miami's "Callie" played by Emily Procter.

anyway, i believe everything i see on TV, so that means House is always factually correct, right?



Callie


Cameron

Blank

I need a tape-recorder. The thoughts that run through my brain are far more articulate than what I eventually end up producing on paper. In trying to write my novel, I have found that I get "writer's block" when I actually sit down to type. But I often tell parts of stories in my mind, as if my life were being narrated to me [think Stranger Than Fiction]. These stories are far more entertaining and well-told than what I end up typing out. Maybe that means I am not practiced enough, or maybe I am just not a good writer...but either way, I want to share my story the way I see it, with the same details that only I know. It's frustrating me.

After returning from a lovely trip in CA of beaches, whale watching and fantastic fresh fish entrees, I feel like I am ready for Spring to roll on in. I am just ready, for whatever. I am so busy all the time, I feel like time passes by without me even tipping my hat as its on its way out. I have been thinking about new projects I want to work on, new ways to finish the ones I am already working on, and ways to get rid of negative habits I feel so awfully inclined to entertain.

I also wish I could make more money. poop. it's unlikely. I want to have more cushioning so I can buy things I want, though right now I barely have enough to buy things I need. I do not realistically have time for another job. grrr. oh well, such is life.

crazy/normal normal/crazy

in high school, my boyfriend at the time was forced by his parents to see two therapists. one was his general therapist, the other was to specifically talk about sex. not necessarily that he was having sex, but just because his parents thought that the fact that he even knew what sex was turned out to be a TREMENDOUS issue...to the point where they would lock him in the car to question him if he had been having sex with anyone. my point: it fucked him up - he didn't know WHAT to believe.

now, i think therapists are great. the problem with therapy is that everyone who goes to therapy has the ability to turn anything the therapist says into what they want to hear. i am guilty of this [guilty as charged...]. i try to be overtly honest, because i think that this is in my best interest. i'm not ashamed to say i go to a therapist, because i think it makes me a better person to consider that the advances and studies in the field of psychology may actually benefit me. i mean, these studies are done for a reason...to "figure" people out...to "understand" the synergy between the mind, emotions and the heart.

anyway, what i'm saying is - people get fucked up because they don't actually listen to what the therapist is trying to say, they just take it how they want to take it...and that's the problem. like i said, i'm guilty. it's happened to me. but i observe a lot of people's behaviors and i observe a lot of people who i know go to therapy...and it's not a pretty picture.

then i think, crazy is normal, normal is crazy [einhorn is finkel, finkel is einhorn] so who gives a fuck! people are nuts, and that's life, there's nothing i can do. ughhhhh. s i g h ....

if you see a therapist, just listen to them, do what they say, they are usually right...


**side note** my kids found my myspace page on the history trail on our classroom computer!!! they are not supposed to be surfing the internet...but there they were, reading about who i want to meet, my general interests and my relationship status.

hilarious and wrong, so very wrong.

is it wednesday yet?

only 2 more days of work this week. woot! i can't wait to go to CA. i plan to walk the entire state park and possibly kayak a little bit while zach is in meetings. the park grounds are supposed to be breathtaking and the buildings were all built by julia morgan.







yesterday, i napped all day on the couch, and riley laid there with me! this is exciting news because she hasn't done that since she was about 12 weeks old! she is finally becoming a real little dog :)

if i had a million dollars...

i like you and you and you and you...

sigh.

i want you...

love you Stella McCartney

relationships in the time and space continuum

Isn't time weird? Sometimes my children will come in after the weekend, like they did today, and they will have grown several inches. As adults we completely forget what it's like to grow like that because we are basically the same everyday. We have probably been the same height since we were about 18, maybe younger. We stay at status-quo by decade...we pretty much look the same in our 20's, the same in our 30's and so on.

I feel like time has been passing by so quickly. It's March for heavens sake! What happened to January and February? The more I think about it, the more I get freaked out by the fact that I am getting older without realizing. I guess it's a good thing that I just enjoy my life and don't worry that each day, I am one step closer to death - but still.

When I was talking to a friend (who is older than me) the other day, she mentioned that as she has gotten older, she has become more disappointed by people who she thought were friends. Her real friendships have really crystallized with her age and she has been let down more by people as she has gotten older. This really struck me. I think about my life-long friends, and how much I miss the ones who don't live near me (even the ones that do live near me)...and how lucky I am to have those connections. I have realized that a bunch of people in my life do not have these long-term relationships, and that is sad. I think about how many "friends" I have lost, and how really, those people probably weren't friends, and that is strange.

Humans are so interesting. We are getting older, time flying past us at an extremely fast rate, and we are always taking things for granted. We are gaining and losing friends. We are participating in relationships that are needy or fake and ones that are meaningful and fulfilling. Why are we doing this? The ups and downs of friendships are exhausting. Sometimes we are wasting too much time dealing with drama and sometimes we are not letting tragedy affect us at all. Sometimes we are feeling sad, guilty or desperate for months and sometimes time flies by so fast that we realized we were actually happy all along.