let's talk about boredom again

i am about to tear my eyeballs out. i have a few general complaints about my life right now. all but one are career related. (the one is that i have all coupled friends and sometimes that is a bit lonely, but that is not the point of this post). i feel like i could be doing so much more with my life. i love the children in my class, i love teaching them, i love helping them learn the lessons of life....i'm just a little bit bored of the day to day conventions of my job. i feel like i could be doing a lot more with my life right now. i have a great job, i just feel like i need to be doing something wildly exciting and thought-provoking. which is why i want to go to africa and study early childhood education. good thing i speak french.

thomas the tank engine pajamas

Perfect

I am so pumped about this: www.chac-mool.com!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Does anyone want to go with me? Maybe the summer or even earlier, this spring?

It's ok, I'm used to it.

Yep.

1. I am really happy right now.
2. I want to go home.
3. My sister passed her comps! Yay!

Fort Rock

I CANNOT WAIT to go home for Thanksgiving this year. I really can't wait. I should've taken the entire week off and just left this weekend. I can't wait to see my friends and my family.

I was thinking about how much I valude family. And how really, my friends are my family. I was talking to my dad about my friends Nina, Beth and Jackie and how we've been friends for about 14 years. 14 years!! Really? Best friends for that long??!! yikes. I literally feel like I just met them in middle school yesterday. My dad was saying how it's rare that people keep friends for that long...most people meet their best friends in college and then struggle to maintain relationships with them, with the exception for one or two BEST friends.

I feel like I am extremely lucky to be blessed with so many close friends in my life. I have fantastic old friends who know me better than anyone. And I have fantastic new friends who just seemed to fit into my little puzzle. It is so wonderful.

This weekend when I was out to dinner with my friends and their dates, boyfriends or husbands...I came to the interesting realization that I am their single friend. I mean, Ryan is single too, but really, she dates a ton! Beth is single, but she's all the way out in California. Nina's engaged, Jackie and Katy have very serious boyfriends, Lyndsi, Lori Jo, Nanette are all married. What have I gotten myself into!? It's not a bad thing, it's just interesting I suppose.

One funny thing about this observation is that Nina, Beth, and Jackie have known or met every guy I've ever been in a relationship with. And I think their honest opinions were that they never really "loved' any of them. Sure, they liked some of them, sure they said, "If he makes you happy, that's all that matters," sure they said endearing things like, "Oh Kate, he's so nice. He seems to really like you...blah blah blah horseshit." But they never really loved, gushed, adored anyone. This is interesting because I have loved and do currently love the guys they are with. Anyway, I really value their opinions so this bit of information is important to me. I guess this is all just me thinking aloud, doesn't mean much except that I LOVE MY FRIENDS!

I can't wait to go home and cuddle with my sister on the couch and try to give her loads of kissesssssss :)

Dear Bret,

Since you are one of, mmmm, maybe three people that read this blog, I want you to know that none of my hater posts are directed at you. I love you and your extremely cynical opinion of the fictional character Dr. Gregory House. Don't you fret none, ya hear?

Love,
kt

What the hell have I been doing!?

I love kurt halsey (thank you artstarphilly.com).


FREAKING OUT! is what I've been doing. I feel like my life has become so hectic towards the end of the semester...except that nothing has really changed, it has just all culminated all of a sudden and settled in my body. So I have this dumb vertigo...and I feel like I'm drunk. That's the best way I can describe it...you know when you're drunk, and you can like see what's going on around you and you can talk to people, but you're in your own little drunk world? Well yea, that's how I feel all the freakin time. It sucks! It's really not as fun as it may seem.

I cannot believe that next week is Thanksgiving! This will be the first Thanksgiving without my granmda in 23 years. WEIRD. and sad, and it's probably not going to be fun. There are more people coming to my aunt's house this year than have in the past, so that's exciting. My cousin's fiance's family is coming, and another cousins girlfriend is coming, so that should be fun.

Here's some food for thought. What the hell is up with people's priorities!? Get your life in gear bitches! It's exhausting to think about. I feel like I have been an exceptional friend to a few people lately. I don't want to say I expect nothing in return, because that would be a lie. I expect time and respect in return. That's a normal request. Nothing above and beyond the normal limits of friendship. C'mon guyssss...pull through and surprise me :(

Is it boredom? I crave fun.

I know I have a pretty full life. It's full. It's jampacked. It's tubular. I know this. Then why am I bored?

Tonight I was babysitting and when I was putting the little 7 year old girl to bed, she asked me, "Kate, are you married?" And I said, "No, I'm not." She said, "Well, why not? You look so pretty with your hair down, why aren't you married?" I said, "Well, I am young, and I haven't found a man that I want to marry yet, or one that wants to marry me. Two people have to agree that they want to spend their lives together if they are going to get married." She said, "Oh, then how do you sleep?"

Now that really struck me. I was going to write on this blog today about how I kept overhearing conversations on campus today like, "OMYGOD, I've never been soooo drunk!!" or "I don't know what happened to my magic wand..." But anyway, this bedtime-tuck-in conversation seemed a lot more intriguing.

A lot of nights it's true that it is lonely, though I have gotten a little bit more used to it. After living with someone, I think you get used to having a body in bed with you...and even if you just have roommates, you at least have someone to go in and bother (LAUREN). But I guess the interesting thing about my little friend asking me these questions is that I wonder if it is a basic need for humans to want to sleep with someone else there. I try not to look at it through the attachment issues looking glass since I am all too familiar with it, but do we really crave that attachment? Do we want someone there? Personally, I like to have a warm body next to me, but just the right distance next to me while I'm sleeping.

But here's the THING...I'm not sure if it is a need per se...I think it just might be more fun. Having someone there to talk to, to play with, to do stuff with, to confide in...it just makes life more fun. So sometimes when I'm home at night and I feel lonely...I think it's also because I'm a little bit bored. I do plenty of other things that should ease this boredom...but ya know, maybe you just want someone to cuddle with or perhaps drink some beers with...or just talk to about your day?